For years I’ve been laughing at the Jesus freaks and god botherers when they tell us the end is nigh. Before the internet gave these loons a platform they had to wander the streets with a sandwich board and shout at people… there used to be a bloke at Maine road, they usually shout random verses from revelation, I used to only hear one in every five words… horses, trumpets, spread cheese, absinthe…. You get the drift, fucking nonsense. The arrival of the World Wide Web has seen a huge jump in number of these fuckers, and an exponential growth in the variety of ways we’re going to meet our doom. Nostradamus is quoted, along with some old lass that lived in a cave in Norfolk, and the old favourite, the last book of the New Testament. Why the fuck it was put in there is anyone’s guess… I know the bible is just a cobbled together mish mash of hearsay and fable, but if you’re going for credible, why would you wack a chapter in by a mental Greek cleric with an “end of the world” story so fabulous it could be an M Night Shyamalan movie? He was probably stood outside the council of Nicaea with a sandwich board, shouting about cheese and horses. Constantine looks up from his agenda and says.. “will somebody go and shut that fucker up, he’s doing my fucking head in… no, wait… I’ve got an idea”.
Anyway, it looks like they may be right after all.
Our glorious leaders are heading for a no-deal Brexit, that should make it a bit starvy in good old Blighty, we’ll all be housebound with no petrol, the gas and electric will be off, so we’ll be a bit shivery as well as starvy. This should make everyone nice and fighty. It’s a cunning plan by the tories to drastically reduce the number of poor people, most of the pensioners will die, huge saving there… a large number of benefit scroungers will die in pitch battles for the last Greggs sausage roll. Welfare bill slashed, NHS waiting lists slashed, education bill slashed, unemployment slashed… those of us that survive will inherit a brave new world.
Meanwhile, Trump is hell bent on pissing off a couple of despots, he’s like a kid with s stick, poking a wasps’ nest, except we’re all going to get stung.
Pretty much what America has done, given an old tyrant the means to fire everyone.
Repent, the end is nigh!
Anyone got a bit of plywood and a few screws?