Pale blue dot

The majority of the stuff I write on this site is ill-considered drunken shite. If you are offended by any of the content here you have two options. Firstly, hit your browser back button and fuck off back you where you came from, or secondly, you can contact me and we can discuss the matter like reasonable adults. Then we’ll agree I’m right.

Please don’t assume that you know everything about me simply because you have read my site. Any judgements you make will be based on the the things I have written, which are probably vague, incomplete and embellished. Whatever opinion you form about me, or my life as a whole, it’s probably best kept to yourself because I don’t give a flying monkey’s toss.

Never contact me for more details on events or personal information other than that already provided on the site. Chances are if the information you seek isn’t readily available, I deem it too personal or innapropriate to share. If you know me I may eventually tell you privately. So, intrusive questions are not necessary, just leave it alone. If you are meant to know, you will.

I have had a web presence since 1999 and in that time I have never named my employer on line. If you work for my employer or you represent them in any way then please move along. There’s nothing for you to see here, and I’m sure you get paid an obscene amount of cash for doing your job, so get back to it and stop reading this tedious wank.

If you have a real life relationship with me, remember that what goes on this site stays on this site. If I have told you about this little interweb backwater then fine, if you have found it by accident I would appreciate you telling me that you have been here. I don’t make a habit of having a go at any of my aquaintances without giving them a right to reply, but if you feel wronged just come and see me.

Ex-friends, and estranged family members should refrain from reading this site. There is no reason you should get daily updates on my life. If you simply can’t help yourself, do it quietly, and don’t repeat what you read or use it against me.

The use of the word “Allegedly” in any of my work indicates that what I have just written may be a figment of my alcohol fuelled imagination and in no way resembles the truth as you know it. Any loss of business or personal respect you may experience is purely coincidental and in no way linked to my drunken ramblings.